The Impossible Work of Becoming Human
Book Club | Mere Christianity: Book 3 (chap. 5-7)
“when a thing has to be attempted, one must never think about possibility or impossibility.” (p. 101)
Lewis says this in reference to Christian chastity. However, I think this idea also applies to the topics in each of the other chapters within this week’s reading: marriage in chapter 6 & forgiveness in chapter 7.
The point being: Virtue is not optional. It is commanded. It isn’t offered as a way to get extra credit, but as the assigned curriculum.
When considering Christian chastity or what Scripture prescribes concerning marriage or whether we will forgive someone or not—our perception of the possibility of those has no place in our decision making process. The high calling of God’s word might seem impossible to us, but it must not be seen as optional—we must try.
“people quite often do what seemed impossible before they did it. It is wonderful what you can do when you have to.” (p. 101)
Have you ever done something you didn’t know was possible? Or that you had thought impossible? That is a special feeling—winning a race, meeting a deadline, landing a job.
But here’s the thing, the topics of these chapters—chastity, marriage, forgiveness—are actually impossible to meet the standard of perfectly. With the disciples in Matthew 19, we ask, “Who then can be saved?” And the response of Jesus still rings true: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
We need God’s help. We will fall and fail, wallow and wail. But we have only to ask, and the Sufficient One will pick us up out of our insufficiency—placing us back upon the Path He has placed us on innumerable times before.
This Path of Virtue seems so poetic when we read about it in books and see it on the silver screen. It even seems lovely to us when we consider it for ourselves from afar. But when it gets close—when it comes time to forgive someone that’s cheated us or resist that pesky temptation—it looks a little less desirable. And hidden in that moment, something profound is at stake: our humanity.
“For there are two things inside me, competing with the human self which I must try to become. They are the Animal self, and the Diabolical self.” (p. 103)
Did you catch that? The competition going on within us is a fight to become the human self. To be fully Human is something we do not yet experience; it is something we are becoming.
One Man was truly Human—the Image of God fulfilling every design and purpose for humanity without fail. It is this Man that is in charge of our becoming human; and He has made sure of it by His resurrection.
But those parts of us that have been corrupted by our sin fight to drag us away from our humanity—to keep us in exile. So we must fight back. We must wage war against them, sending for our great Ally to enter into the battle with us. We must foster the virtue we were made for. We must embrace our humanity.
When we sin, we become less human. When we cultivate virtue, we become more human. The call of God is to relentlessly chase our destiny:
to be Human in the Garden with God forever
Try to think of a sweeter future, a more glorious existence. I cannot.
To be as I was meant to be, with the One I was meant to be with. Bliss.
Lewis says this is how we are to love our enemies. We are to hate the evil they have done to us, while “being sorry that the man should have done such things, and hoping, if it is anyway possible, that somehow, sometime, somewhere he can be cured and made human again.” (p.117)
We are to regard so highly the Image of God we were created in, that we love and pray for our enemies to be restored to this glory with us. For, while we were still enemies, Christ died for us. Therefore we are to love and forgive as we have been loved and forgiven—even when it seems impossible. We are not given an option, but a duty.
And who knows, you might just do something impossible.
Your turn:
What ideas captured your attention in this section?
Did any of what Lewis said ruffle your feathers?
What’s your relationship to forgiveness? Are you a master of loving your enemies?
Look forward to hearing from you, friends!
I paused in the section on pg. 96-97 that discussed sexual starvation and gluttony. I believe it’s possible that these two ends stem from the same central seed. Is it possible that, somewhere along the line, chastity was violated? I cannot speak from experience, but it seems possible that one wouldn’t have a feeling of sexual starvation or a desire to overindulge if they had simply never sampled sex in the first place.
I think it similar to any other kind of dependence (dare I say addiction?). The prominent example in my mind is TikTok. I refused to engage with the platform for years. I listened to friends talk about it and received lots of encouragement to make an account, but I always refused. The refusal wasn’t difficult because I didn’t know what I was missing. Then, one day, I figured “Why not?” and downloaded the app. That app monopolized my free time for years afterwards. It’s only been now, in the last 7 days, that I have deleted TikTok after being “hooked” on the app for ~4 years. It was easy to abstain when I didn’t know what I was missing, but felt impossible to look away once I’d had a peek.
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Pg. 100-102 made me think about the concept of sexual transmutation. Sexual transmutation is something we talk about every once in a while at home. My husband taught me about it, so I might not have the idea quite perfect. But, in my understanding, sexual transmutation involves recognizing/acknowledging your sexual or lustful desires, choosing not to act on them (or being unable to act on them), and then channeling that energy into something else, such as work. I’ll have to ask him again where he learned it from…
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Pg. 105, where Lewis discusses divorce, was especially interesting to me because I feel that commitment issues and “planned obsolescence” have permeated American culture and society. Nothing is made to last, instant gratification and quick hits of dopamine have destroyed our attention spans, and, in a lot of cases, it can seem like there’s no consequences attached to being “here today, gone tomorrow” with anything — school, work, a relationship, etc. Lewis covers similar ideas on pg. 110 as well.
Lewis goes on on pg. 106 to talk about deception and formalities. This made me think of the Relationship Escalator, which lines out the natural progression of a relationship: dating, exclusivity, engagement, marriage, children, etc. I think it’s not uncommon for folks to find themselves on this escalator, which transports them from phase to phase because it’s what “should” be done. I think it’s not uncommon to just move through the steps without much thought for the gravity of the decisions being made. Through this process, we see situations like Lewis is describing on this page.
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Pg. 112-114 would’ve ruffled my feathers 2+ years ago, but not anymore. I tried the “boss babe” thing and attempted to oversee a household, including having the final say in all decisions, while working a full-time job. It was exhausting! By the time I met my husband, I was ready to hand off the baton LOL Maybe it’s convenient that this falls within the dynamic Lewis described here, but I’ve experienced first-hand that I’m not cut out for the “head of household” life and do better when provided with direction.
Hello, Everyone 👋
So... I'd like to ask an honest question regarding Lewis' stance at the end of chapter 6.
He talks on how some Christians think we should make divorce difficult for everyone. Lewis disagrees and shares how he'd be quite angry if Mohammedans tried to make drinking wine difficult for everyone. Frankly, I have to agree with him on that point 😉🍷
And I fully agree with his concluding statement on the topic when he says "the distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not."
Here is my question.
(Understanding that we may not all have the same answers. And I argue we shouldn't have the same answers. Unity does not mean we are all the same. In fact, we can only have unity if we are different.)
When it comes to voting for, let's say the legalization of gay marriage, do you vote against because it's not how God set up marriage or do you vote for it because not everyone is a Christian or do you not vote and let whatever happens happen?
(I use gay marriage as an example. We can swap it out for "allowing divorce" if we want to stick to the same topic.) Though, I also wonder, does our answer differ if the topic was abortion or legalizing a certain drug or not allowing prayer in school, etc.